Note to Self, #768
Dear Self---
When possible, try to avoid letting your mouth run out ahead of your brain. Get that kid out of the street before it gets hit by a car! If you need a reminder of why not to do this, think about this moment, when you tied yourself in knots of social anxiety because six months ago, like a total meathead, you volunteered to invite your dissertation advisor to campus for a lecture. Sure, it might have seemed like a good idea at the time, and yes, he's a wonderful person and a great person for the students to meet. BUT. Remember that it makes you batshit crazy to worry about hanging out with him all day, and that he's going to finally figure out what a sham you are. Then you'll have to worry about having written a truly crap, embarrassing introduction for his lecture, which neither hews to the form of the official introduction, neither does it get at what you really want him to know about the impact that he's had. And the fact that he'll still be nice about it, no matter what kind of disaster it is will simply serve to make you feel worse, because there's nothing like having someone you adore watching you make an ass of yourself.
In short, remember this moment when you were the architect of your own freakitude, and zip it.
Love,
Fluff
P.S. One more thing: try not to schedule too many nerve-wracking, high stakes events in the same week. Honestly. Article + conference paper + advisor? What are the chances you can survive that kind of thing without totally fucking up? Really. Get some sense...
When possible, try to avoid letting your mouth run out ahead of your brain. Get that kid out of the street before it gets hit by a car! If you need a reminder of why not to do this, think about this moment, when you tied yourself in knots of social anxiety because six months ago, like a total meathead, you volunteered to invite your dissertation advisor to campus for a lecture. Sure, it might have seemed like a good idea at the time, and yes, he's a wonderful person and a great person for the students to meet. BUT. Remember that it makes you batshit crazy to worry about hanging out with him all day, and that he's going to finally figure out what a sham you are. Then you'll have to worry about having written a truly crap, embarrassing introduction for his lecture, which neither hews to the form of the official introduction, neither does it get at what you really want him to know about the impact that he's had. And the fact that he'll still be nice about it, no matter what kind of disaster it is will simply serve to make you feel worse, because there's nothing like having someone you adore watching you make an ass of yourself.
In short, remember this moment when you were the architect of your own freakitude, and zip it.
Love,
Fluff
P.S. One more thing: try not to schedule too many nerve-wracking, high stakes events in the same week. Honestly. Article + conference paper + advisor? What are the chances you can survive that kind of thing without totally fucking up? Really. Get some sense...
posted by kfluff at 7:17 AM
4 Comments:
Please. You will be neither a sham nor a freak. Remember: when in doubt, ask about French cinema.
Word! I'm having to watch myself so as not to call him by his French name! But I am hoping to get him tipsy so that he'll dish dirt about our former department...
The fluffster is no sham, yo! But I understand the anxiety part. I can't wait to meet this guy--and it he's as wicked smart as you say, then he has known for some time that you're the real deal. Word.
You'll be fine --- it will all work out. (And be sure to pump him for gossip!)
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