Why Not Just Say "Don't Get Out of Bed?"

Here's a choice quote from my horrorscope for the day:

That's it. The end of an era. The last act in a long drama. There's no going back.

Jeebus. Thanks. Bed is looking better and better all the time. As if I don't have melodramatic tendencies to begin with? Like I need some sort of astrological omen to make me more paranoid?

If you want me, I'll be laying in bed reading the latest issue of Elle, with Amy Adams on the cover.

Or else having lunch with Senor Fluff's graduate school girlfriend. Just the thing to do on a day with a horoscope like the one above.