The Miracle of Christmukkah

I think I have officially recovered from the grading, posting, and small onslaught of emails from students regarding said grading and posting of grades. And I did it just in time to get on a plane headed for my parents' house and the bacchanalia of eating and Christmas shopping that that normally entails this time of year. Three days into the trip and I'm bloated and mostly relaxed--just in time to get to Senor Fluff's family's house for a different kind of holiday break (this one involving many nephews and nieces and house visits from family friends). I had better bone up on my friendliness and break out all of the euphemisms for the profanity I usually use. The best of these, for the record, is "crudbunnies"--the strongest of my mother-in-law's curses. I've also been known to decamp to "heavens to Murgatroyd" under duress.

Yes, it's going to be that kind of Christmas.

I do, however, have to take heart. Part of the tradition at my family's house is Christmas break bingo. Many games. With my mother and my husband and 45-70 geriatric smokers who have attached--not kidding here--Troll doll heads to the tops of their bingo markers. Some even bring bells to ring when they win. [David Lynch is totally missing out on this scene. David, if you're reading this, call me and I'll give you the tour.]

Every year I've gone to play bingo. Often in the winter and during a summer trip home. Let's figure then at least 6 games a year for 11 years. NEVER ONCE, true believers, have I won a game. I have adopted various strategies over the years: lucky charms, radical charity, despair. Nothing has worked.

Until yesterday, when I finally, FINALLY, yelled "BINGO!!!" at the top of my lungs, sending little old ladies everywhere grasping for their oxygen. Holy crudbunnies!! [See how that just doesn't have the same effect?]

It's a whole new era, my friends. Let's have some hope.

I'll be blogging light from my in-laws' place, as I'm not sure what the wi-fi situation is. Be back on Christmas. I hope there's something under the tree, waiting for you, that you've most wanted for the last 11 years!