Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Now THERE'S a Personality Test No One's Developed Yet

I met with my colleague yesterday afternoon, to effectuate the glorious and much-awaited hand-off of the ACUN. Praise Hera. During our conversation, he told me: "You can tell a lot about a person by which drug they like at the dentist." !!!! Someone get the Cupid people on this, stat!

While it may seem as if this is his response to being handed a program in crisis (and it may well be), it actually made sense in context. Yesterday morning, after I put my mother on the plane, I went to the dentist to have a pesky piece of extra gum tissue removed. My dentist is a weird one; she's perky, knowledgeable, a bit of a perfectionist. (In the last three months, she's tried to get me, Senor Fluff and Yogini all into braces. Been there, done that. "Yes," she says, " but this time, you're an adult! This time, you'll wear your retainer!" Don't count on it, toots.) At my last cleaning, she informed me that all was looking good in my mouth, except for the tooth that is unfortunately halfway covered by this piece of tissue. "Wait much longer and we'll lose the tooth." What a Cassandra.

So, I went in to have the tissue hacked off. But no! She's modern and technological! She uses--wait for it--an electrical current to "zap" away the tissue and cauterize the wound. "You won't need it, but do you want nitrous?" Yes, matter of fact, I do. Who am I to turn down drugs?

All I could think of when she put the little gas mask on me was the insane dentist in Little Shop of Horrors. While the video below doesn't show it, I do think he sucks down the nitrous with regularity in the film.

So I've always thought that the gas was a retro thing. But now, my friends, no more! I can totally see why people like it, even if they aren't insane sadists! How lovely is the nitrous high; like being very very drunk without having to worry about barfing. Much fuzziness and loving of everyone, and a total lack of panic when you smell you're own flesh burning in your mouth. So what if it causes birth defects? Bring it on!

This was the impetus for my colleague's comparison. According to his assessment, were I to choose a drug, I'd want the ones that made me happy, as opposed to the ones that knocked me out completely---his choice.

Such delightful variation in the world. Now back to writing syllabi.

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Blogger Sisyphus said...


I had LASIK a long time ago, and they gave me a big ol' dose of Valium before the procedure. I was _all_ good; I just. Did. Not. Care. I remember giggling softly off and on throughout the process.

And thinking about that, why am I not using that stuff now as I go through the diss writing??? Foolish cog!

Tuesday, January 08, 2008 11:50:00 PM  
Blogger kfluff said...

Ooooh, Valium. That would certainly take the edge off the diss.

Perhaps recreational drugs should be included in grad student health packages? Good for students and advising faculty alike!!

Wednesday, January 09, 2008 8:21:00 AM  
Blogger Frenchie Foo said...

Ok, you know I'm all about the epidural, right? Oh my GOD, I loved it. Nobody believes me that I slept through labor, but check with Kinicky. He'll vouch for me.

I don't know why I can't get an epidural every now and then just for the hell of it.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008 3:22:00 PM  

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