Unhand the 80's!

All right, look. I understand the siren song of leggings, I really do. And it's not just because Sienna Miller was wearing them. I get the return of big hair, Marc Jacobs bringing back grunge. Putting aside many atrocious choices in high school, I'll even give sweater dresses another try; I suppose it's possible that they're now better-made, more flattering, etc., even if I have love handles and more cellulite to hide. So fine, Derek Lam, bring it on.

I will not, however, WILL NOT go back down this road, brought to you care of Ann Taylor Loft:

Not for a free Louis Vuitton bag, nor a pair of Christian Louboutin peep-toe pumps. No no no. I don't care if you send me a coupon, ATL, you just have to know that this is too ridiculous. Only certain things are eligible for a revival, and this look is definitively not.

The lead singer of Dexys Midnight Runners called? He wants his outfit back.