Wedding Fashion Question

Since we're talking anniversaries and fashion, I thought I'd post a puzzler from Frenchie, who needs some advice from the internets on what to wear to a wedding. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Although, I should note, we've always called this guy "Vern" because he's aspiring to be the spitting image of the Trading Spaces designer. You know, this guy:


[Whoa. Just as a sidenote, VY's come a loooong way from Trading Spaces. He's writing books, doing a couple of television shows, designing his own line of housewares. Not bad for a guy whose name always makes me think of Ernest Saves Christmas. Go Vern go! Has anyone noticed an uptick in the number of Asian American interior designers? Danny Seo for one, and that other guy, whose name is escaping me...]

Anyway, here's the question:

Vern is getting married on Aug. 18, and we are going. Again, I have no idea what to wear. I'm thinking my red dress would not be a good idea in case the bride is wearing red. (The invitations are red and gold; reception is being held at a fancy Vietnamese restaurant in Philly; he's Chinese-American, she's Korean-American -- am I stupid for thinking the red dress might be a bad idea? I'm trying to be culturally-sensitive, but maybe I'm just an idiot.)

Advice for Frenchie, anyone? I have to admit, I'm a bit nervous that someone is going to revoke my Asian ID card because I don't know the answer here. What the hell does a pan-Asian American wedding look like? And wouldn't it help a sister out if the invite gave some clues?

Feel free to weigh in in the comments. If your shy, feel free to email. Frenchie is depending on you!

Twin Urbania Peaks

I'm currently in the middle of overpacking for my trip and trying to finish up work before I go. What a great way to spend my last 12 hours at home!! Let's take a poll. Say that the next two weeks of your life include the following activities: going to classes, working in a computer lab, attending a few "parties" for the workshop, walking around the steamy Midwest, going to a gym. How many articles of clothing do you need to cover the bottom half of your body? (Right now I'm at 7: 3 pair of capri pants for daily wear; a pair of jeans (possible for casual party); a pair of shorts (see steamy Midwest); a pair of dress pants or skirt (for more uptight party); pair of gym pants. Too much? Too little? Just right? Call me Goldilocks!

The other thing I have to tell y'all is that I had the most David Lynch experience today. I had to send a pair of shoes back to Zappos, bless them, with their "print out the UPS label and drop it in a pick-up box" policy. Googlemaps says that the nearest box is a mile from my house, so I swing by on my way home. The street address lands me in front of the "Urbania Department of Mental Hygiene." {My house is a mile from here? That should be good for resale!] I park and try the door. A voice mumbles incomprehensibly to me from the intercom. The door swings open. There is a huge glassed-in reception desk in front of me. I walk to the side with the window, and a little person (literally) in a state uniform is there to greet me. "Do you have a UPS drop box?" "Yeees, eets over thhherre." [That's my best approximation of an Eastern European accent.] I opened the drop box expecting to find a human ear or Naomi Watts or something equally surreal and disturbing. Needless to say, it was empty.

If Lynch is going to take 5 years to film Inland Empire, then I suggest his next feature should be "Urbania." Let's see if Laura Dern will drag her skinny ass to the Northeast.