Monday, March 16, 2009

Because Some Things, You Just Don't Post to Facebook

It's been years, thankfully, since I've had a UTI, but surprise! Here it is! Hey there, old friend! I wasn't really looking for you, and yet here you are!

Gee, it's been a long time. I thought I was getting really good at making sure that I drank enough, avoiding e coli, peeing before and after sex. You know, all of the things that I'm supposed to do, and do consciously, just to avoid you. But apparently something went wrong, because here you are. And here you stay, despite the fact that I've now drunk half my body weight in cranberry juice, shelled out $22 at the natural food store for cranberry pills, and halved my coffee consumption. In fact, you seem to be a particularly tenacious version of yourself, since none of this is putting a dent in you. Which is odd, because in the many many times that you've come to visit in the past, I could basically cut you down to size in a matter of hours. But you're apparently moving your furniture in and stocking the fridge---you're thinking you're here to stay, I imagine.

It's not that I don't enjoy having you around. Really. I mean, I'm probably better hydrated than I've ever been in my life. And hell, I'm really clean. The kind of clean that comes from scalding hot baths at 2:30 in the morning in an attempt to flush you. Nothing says "good morning" like urethral-pain insomnia!

So, thanks to you, I'm going to renew my relationship with my doctor. Hooray! You and me will just have to sit here and stare at the phone together until the office opens at 9. I suppose we can sing a few verses of Kumbaya if you'd like. Since we're such close pals and all, having spent the last 36 hours together, do you think you could prep for my two classes today?



Blogger Sisyphus said...

Heh ... I know I shouldn't be laughing ... but this is hilarious! :)

Monday, March 16, 2009 12:48:00 PM  
Blogger Frenchie Foo said...

I firmly believe that the antibiotics (Cipro is my drug of choice) needed for said "friend" should be readily available... I know no pain (& I have had a child) that is like the tenacious UTI.

My mother once went to the emergency room when we were on vacation thanks to one of these doozies.

Hang in there. I did discover once that I could call the 1-800 number on my insurance card and talk to a nurse who could ask a doctor to phone in a prescription for me at a 24 hour pharmacy. (That was my old insurance in Blue Collar Ville, though.)

Monday, March 16, 2009 2:09:00 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Monday, March 16, 2009 7:45:00 PM  
Blogger kfluff said...

Cipro acquired, via Urgent Care. Why do I have a doctor when she can't get me in, and when Urgent Care is $15 bucks and a 20 minute wait?

I'm anticipating turning in early and not waking up until morning. Hopefully without wetting the bed, but I'm not ruling it out.

Monday, March 16, 2009 7:54:00 PM  

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