- In trying out a new teaching schedule this semester, I have chosen one that is, apparently, not conducive to consistent blogging. Obviously. Derrrr.
- This is compounded by the fact that I have assigned too much work in my classes. I have never been in this kind of grading trench before, and I may never get out.
- Snow before Halloween? Seriously?!
- Every year, we hire new faculty members in my department. Every year, they inevitably (and probably wisely) take the stance of neutrality, in which they refuse to hear anything bad about the granny mafia. There's often an air here of "I'm Switzerland. And you should know better than to try to drag me into your petty squabbles. I will stand above the fray." They sometimes sit complacently by in meeting after meeting and watch while other members of the department are condescended to, discounted, or attacked. And yet, sooner or later, that same attention is turned toward them, and then they decide that they want support from the people who they were quick to judge earlier. On my better days, it makes perfect sense to me, and I'm glad that they see the ways that some issues are structural, not personal. On my worse days, I want to tell them to fuck right off.
- I have a couple of projects that are on that I'm really excited to work on. That's just not going to happen anytime soon.
- I desperately wish that I could figure out how to have an intellectual argument with someone in such a way that I didn't take it personally. I know that people can do this; I just can't get the knack.
- I'm just getting over whatever horrible plague that's ripping through the Northeast. That sucker is a doozy. I've seldom been so consciously grateful for my own wellness.
- I have to go to the big ol' conference in December to interview for a new faculty line. On the one hand---Yay! It's in my favorite of favoritest cities ever! On the other hand---Boo! This is totally going to screw up any and all holiday plans. On the other hand---yay! the school is going to pay for me to get withing spitting distance of my family! On the other hand---boo! It's the big ol' conference. I have four hands and a wishy-washy demeanor.
- The amount of time I'm now spending reading political coverage on multiple websites and television shows a couple times a day in a desperate attempt to get more information about what's going to happen in this election is a real time suck, and only serves to increase my worries about it. November 4 cannot come fast enough.
I don't know if it's the October blahs or the election season or if this is the inevitable anti-climax of turning in the binder from hell. I'm tired and burned out and find myself with very little to look forward to right now. Deep ennui. Mariana trench--deep.